You Did What?

Alyssa froze at the door, uncertain of the words Jamie had just spoken. She heard them but they didn’t make enough sense for her to understand them. Which just further confused her. She turned to face her. Jamie hadn’t moved. She stood staring at Alyssa’s feet, the obvious shame and concern preventing her from meeting Alyssa’s gaze.

“What did you just say?” Alyssa asked, the shook of the situation causing her voice to sound a little weak. Her rational mind fought with the part of her that loved Jamie more than she loved herself. If there was anything she was sure of, it was that Jamie would never do anything that would hurt her. But here she was, admitting to have done just that, yet her heart wouldn’t allow that to be true. She swallowed, cleared her throat and tried again. “Jamie, what did you just say?”

“I… am the reason that Shane broke up with you.”

“Why-.” Alyssa stopped when she realized she didn’t know what she was trying to ask. She looked at Jamie, growing frustrated that Jamie wouldn’t look at her. Angrily, she stormed over to her, yanked the sunglasses from her face and tossed them onto the couch. “What the hell do you mean, Jay?”

“I told her,” she slowly brought her gaze to Alyssa’s, finding it even more difficult to admit the truth when Alyssa’s big blue eyes revealed the heartache she was feeling. She had vowed never to bring about such pain to Alyssa and it felt like a knife in the gut to know that she was. “That she was no good for you and to end things before she hurt you.”

The words didn’t bring about the clarification Alyssa was hoping for. Instead, a sea of new and old question clouded her mind and she tried to piece together the pieces of a breakup she had fought hard to forget. She had never experienced such an intense pain that losing Shane had caused. Before then, she had never thought it even possible. She had sulked all summer, needing the first two years of college just to get to a point where it didn’t hurt to breathe let alone think about what she’d lost.

“She never said-.”

“She wouldn’t,” Jamie stated, knowing where Alyssa was going.

“Because she loves you,” Alyssa said.

The muscle in Jamie’s jaw bunched and she nodded once.

Alyssa blinked, getting lost in the past as she tried to recall the moments of their break up. “I thought it was something I had done. I thought I had caused her to stop loving me.” She focused on Jamie again, her angry and outrage overcoming her initial shock. “I cried for three fucking months. You watched me cry for three fucking months, Jamie! How could you do this?”

“I was trying to look out for you.”

“Look out for me?” Alyssa paced to the other side of the room. “You were trying to punish her for something that happened in elementary school, Jamie. And you didn’t care that it hurt me to do that.”

“That is not true. I didn’t think she was any good for you. I said what I said because I loved you.”

Alyssa’s laughed harshly. “And you waited five years to tell me because you love me so much?”

“No, because I was afraid of what would happen when I told you. I didn’t want to lose you.”

“You wouldn’t have lost me, Jamie. There is nothing you could ever do to cause you to lose me.” She said it with such conviction that no one could ever doubt it, but the anger was too close to the surface for her to just let things go. “I love you, but I am beyond pissed right now. Even if what you said is true, you should’ve trusted me enough to make my own damn decisions. How dare you try to tamper with my life like that.”

“I’m sorry. I never wanted to hurt you. You know I love you.”

“I wish you would’ve loved me enough to let me love whoever I wanted to love.”

“I just wanted you to be happy,” Jamie said, almost pleading. It felt like she could see Alyssa slipping away and it terrified her more than words could express. “I was just looking out for you.” She reached out for Alyssa but was rejected.

“I can’t -. I… I have to go. I’m mad at you. I’m mad at her. And I don’t konw if I can trust either of you right now.”

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Kitchen Scene

“Where have you been?”
Cam’s angry roar from the darken room startled Alyssa so much that she nearly ran into the bookcase that stood by the stairs. “Jesus, Cam. You scared the hell out of me,” Alyssa exclaimed, reaching for the light switch on the wall. It took a moment for her eyes to adjust to the light but it was easy to make out Cam seated at the dining room table in one of the suits he wore to the restaurant. “What the hell are you doing?”
“Where the hell where you?” Cam rose to his feet and came around the table to where Alyssa stood. “It’s 3 o’clock in the morning, Alyssa. Where have you been?”
“Cam, I just –.”
“This is going to stop,” he told her, banging his fist on the table. “Right fucking now!”
Baffled, Alyssa removed the jacket she had grabbed earlier and draped it over the back of the nearest chair. She could tell by the small vein popping out of the side of Cam’s forehead and his harsh tone that he was pissed but she couldn’t figure out what had gotten him so worked up. She had only been gone for more than an hour and she hadn’t stolen the car or anything. “What are you talking about?”
“You – lying, skipping school, sneaking out!” He gestured in the air as he spoke. “Are you out of your damn mind?”
“No.”
“Who the hell were you with?” He demanded before Alyssa could figure out what to say to him.
She averted her gaze and tried to find the right way to explain without breaking her promise to Shane. “I was out… helping a friend.”
Irate, Cam stalked across the room to Alyssa. “Don’t you understand what you’re doing? I understand you’re sixteen, you want to act out, and that’s fine. We all went through it. But don’t you get it? If you keep acting like this they’re gonna send you back to live with Mom. Is that what you want?”
“I’m not acting out, Cameron. If you would just calm down.”
“Go to your room.”
“What?”
“You’re a kid. You do not go out when you want to. You do not decide which day you go to school and which day you don’t. I make those decisions. I’m the adult. And I’m telling you to go to your damn room.”
Too stunned to think of anything worth saying in the face of Cameron’s disappointment, Alyssa did as she was told and stormed up the stairs.
“Kind of harsh, don’t you think?” Jake entered the room with his arms crossed over his chest. He was dressed in pajama bottoms and a tank top, his hair disheveled and signs of sleep evident on his face. He looked in the direction Alyssa had disappeared up the back stairs and then back at his big brother with a look of contempt. “I caught most of the show.”
“She has been fucking up for weeks, Jacob.” Cam ran his fingers through his hair in frustration, resisting the urge not to pull it from his scalp. He had been noticing the subtle changes in Alyssa since their big move to Shadow Creek, but the. “I know she didn’t want to move here but does she honestly think acting out is going to get me to move?”
“Alyssa’s a pretty smart, mature kid, Cam.”
“She isn’t acting like it, now is she?”
“Maybe you should stop yelling at her and think about that for a moment.” At the pained, tormented look in Cam’s eyes, Jake sighed and went over to take a seat at the dining room table, motioning for Cam to follow. “Listen, bro; I’m not really good at this father figure thing. That’s all you. I just try to stay out of your and Alyssa’s way.”
“Okay?”
“Be even I’ve noticed how strained things have become. You working night and day and me being in my own little world. Alyssa needed someone and she found people that actually understand her which I never have before. Are you seriously going to punish her for trying to be there for her friends? You need to chill. Maybe this isn’t Alyssa’s crying out for help here. Maybe someone else is and Alyssa is just answering.”
“Do you know something I don’t?” His cell phone buzzed in his pocket and he retrieved it to silence it. “Who are you talking about?”
“Talk to her for like five minutes.”

So, I don’t think I’m going to use this in my story because it doesn’t follow the thought and emotions I wanted to display with Cam finds Alyssa sneaking out. I kind of want him to be more angry and irrational but somehow it became about Jake trying to enlighten Cam before he ruins his relationship with Alyssa completely I don’t know why it turned into that. I want Cam to totally flip out, setting up for when he tells Alyssa that they are moving because she’s obviously not going the right direction. And I want him to know about Shane at this point but he thinks Shane is a bad influence. Yet, in the scene I just wrote, Cam doesn’t seem to even know who Shane is.
Ugh. I’m so annoyed at myself right now. I suck at this…

Wolf Hunter

This blog is going to be about the Wolf-Hunter universe I created and all the characters I’ve created that exsist within it. The first two, main characters are Shane Hunter and Alyssa Wolfe.

Right now I’m way too tired to write much about them but tomorrow will be different.

Until then…